


Blame It On The Blonde

by boatyard_of_fics



Category: The Creatures | Cow Chop RPF
Genre: Fake Chop, Found Family Christmas, M/M, Some Alcohol because its Aleks, Ugly Sweaters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 02:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17295974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boatyard_of_fics/pseuds/boatyard_of_fics
Summary: James and Brett are stuck in a safe house together and it’s all Aleks’s fault. He should have known James was an idiot and crushing hard on their coworker.For @tophatgoat.Merry Late Christmas!





	Blame It On The Blonde

**Author's Note:**

> For the Cow Chop Secret Santa! Always fun.

James wished he could blame Aleks on his now giant problem. Mostly because he’s been blaming his partner for year. For everything. But this all fell on James. It had been a rush decision and now he was the one stuck dealing with the consequences. 

“I fucking hate the snow. There’s a very clear reason I moved to Los Santos.” Brett bitched at him. One hand moved from the steering wheel to wave at the window, the powdered snow instantly turned to water before being swept away from by the whippers. Every word had an emphasis that went along with the hand motions.

James looked up from his burner, one of the Fakehaus guys was watching Ein as they laid low for the next few weeks. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t constantly check in on his girl. He didn’t say anything to Brett yet he playfully rolled his eyes as they pulled into the Suburbian driveway, hours away from the city. 

James stared at the boring and admittedly too small house they were forced to stay in. He had to block out the flashback of when he stood next to Aleks as everything fell apart around them. It was like the mist that closes in around headlights, barely there but creeping in with every rotation of the tires. He almost wished that instead of taking Aleks’s original spot he forced Brett and Lindsey to switch. Those assholes were going east towards warmer weather, bright lights, and gambling, while their latest group of stragglers they’ve adopted headed South to hid under FAHC’s protection. 

James sat in the warm car for a minute after Brett stepped out to stretch his muscles. He could already feel his joints start to ache as the cold breeze hit his jacket from the open door. He reluctantly left when he felt the need to stand as his muscles jumped and twitched. 

He smirked as he listened to Brett’s continuous grumbling as he shook his hat out, the snowflakes still clinging to it stubbornly. The grass could still be seen, barely, under the white layer but there was no doubt by morning there wouldn’t be any green in the neighborhood. James had to resist the urge to stare as Brett raked a hand over his smooth head, probably still getting used to the cold air against it. 

James cleared his throat, not shocked that the noise didn’t startle Brett. He’s been making it for years to mess with people. 

“Huh, then why did you fuckin’ pick this piece of shit?” James asked, the little actual irritation he felt bleed through as he moved to get his shit out of the trunk.

“I didn’t. Aleks did.” Brett said as he moved to stand next to him. “ I didn’t find out about this until he gave me the address in the van.”

James could feel the warmth from Brett’s arm as it brushed against his. “That’s what you fucking get for letting him plan shit.”  
“Yeah, no more of that from now on.”

James laughed at him. They both knew if Aleks wanted to make a plan they’d make it happen with very little hesitation. Not in a friendship way either but the fact that they’re all danger junkies and their co-leader was the best at being reckless. It made their work easier. 

Aleks had been so excited about planning the heist by himself, his confidence shot after their losses that year. He only took ideas from the crew and basically created a secret plan to surprise them. Early Christmas present he said. He had worked over those stupid plans and evacuations for months. But now they were successfully richer and stuck in a frozen hell hole; hours away from the city he was still learning to love. 

“Are you even listening to me?” Brett cut through James’s thought process. He cringed as he was caught stuck in the past.

"Fucking, no.” James scoffed quickly grabbing his bags before walking to the door.

“Wow.” Brett laughed and opened the door for them. The house was barely decorated but it was furnished. And fucking freezing. James immediately found the thermostat, his body long used to the overbearing heat of Los Santos. Brett flopped onto the ugly fucking brown couch. 

“Never thought I’d actually miss cow print.” James commented. Brett stretched his legs out in front of him and glared. He already had his phone out and was texting away on it. 

“If you’re implying that you can sit on that fucking couch without contracting some venereal disease then do I have some news for you, buddy.” 

James glared at him and loudly scoffed at him, ready to throw a fake fit. He bought that couch, the second of its kind, not long after their move. It wasn’t his fault that Aleks was a fucking dumbass. 

~

James hated unpacking. He usually just leaves everything in his case until he needed it, which is exactly what he did. So he hung out on the bed until he really needed to move, which was hopefully never. 

Night had already fallen over the neighborhood and he ate the few granola bars left over from the road trip. Brett promised a food delivery in the morning so he had no need to save them. The side crew has long since checked in so all he needed was to here from Aleks and Lindsey. He wasn’t that worried about them, even if something went wrong those two could take care of it. They have before. 

“James.” Brett’s voice carried across the house. James had gotten used to ignoring Brett’s irritated voice in the past few years. Mostly because he tended to not be on the receiving end of it. He closed his eyes and hoped if he pretended to sleep Brett would leave him alone, and while he really wanted to sleep but he couldn’t afford to fuck up his schedule more than he already had with the heist. 

“James.” The irritation forced James up and out of the room before he even realized he was moving. 

He could see Brett standing at the foot of his temporary bed. The scowl on his face was the one generally reserved for him and Aleks when their ideas went too far. This time is was thrown at a hideous red and yellow sweater he hung in front of his face. 

“I thought we burned all those.” James said and Brett turned to look at him, he waved the sweater face stuck in between reprimanding James and chuckling with him. 

“They weren’t that bad, a few of the other Fakes definitely were though.” Brett said, his face went back to the dark irritation that plagued it when he walked in. 

“Why did you even bring it? Can it even fucking fit you?” James said. He took the sweater from him and playfully pulled the arm of the sleeve to stretch it against Brett’s. He tried not to think about anything but making Brett laugh, especially the way his fingers barely skimmed his skin. 

“I didn’t, you fuck.” He took the sweater back and threw it on the pile of clothes on the bed. “I didn’t bring these either.”

He pointed after it as it landed. The god awful mix of red and greens that could be seen under the sweater made James’s head hurt.

“What the fuck?”

“Exactly.” Brett answered, “All of my shirts are missing, even my work out ones.”

James breathed in deeply, the urge to scream almost too much as he turned to stare out the door then back at Brett. 

“James?” Brett asked, James must have looked crazy because he did a few more times before he stomped out of the room. He rushed back to his own temporary room, he could almost feel the house shake with each step. Brett followed him back calling his name, amusement in his voice rather than concern. 

He all but tore his bag in his rush to see the contents inside. He could barely hear Brett’s breathless laugh over his scream as his own pile of red and green formed on the bed.  
~

I actually fucking hate you.

I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about this time. 

~  
“Can’t sleep?” Brett’s voice almost startled James out of his thoughts. Memories so far in the past that they felt like the melting snowflakes as they hit the window. 

He shouldn’t even be sitting there, in the window. It’s might as well be the first rule of the safe house and if Aleks caught him James would actually get himself stabbed by his friend. James had to resist smiling at the thought of Aleks ranting at him as blood showed on his ghastly fake gold sweater. 

“James.”

“What?” His headache only grew as the ambient noise he managed to block out filled the air. Not just Brett and his every movement but the wind against the house and the creaks created from it. Brett was silent and James didn’t even realize he had moved to stand in front of him, even with his sweater with what James had to assume was a fat Santa face. He held out a plain white mug out to James who gratefully took it. 

“Tea?” James asked as he cradled the mug in his hands. The warmth grounded him in the present as Brett sat on the ledge with his own cup. “Is this tea?”

“Shut up and drink it.” Brett said, a small chuckle as he watched James sip from the cup purposely making a slurping noise as he did. 

While silence filled the living room again, it was comfortable and relaxing. Completely different from terror of before. Terror isn’t the right word for it, more existential. Something Aleks would tell him is the same thing. 

“Lindsey and I stayed in a place like this a few years ago.” Brett was the first to break the silence. James hummed at him, not necessarily prompting him on but not rejecting him either. 

“It was more of a fucking shithole, though. The stove had been stolen and she broke the fucking door on the last night.” Brett’s nostalgic face seemed so different from James’s. He always assumed he was frowning when he thought but Brett looked content as he looked outside. 

“How’d she fucking do that?” James’s voice was bordering too high pitched for the time of night but he never really cared and if Brett did he didn’t show it. 

“No idea. I don’t actually remember much of that night.” James choked on his tea but it didn’t stop him from laughing at Brett. He always forgot the party side of the more responsible leader. It took him awhile to catch his breath from his wheezing and it was only because Brett gave him a ‘you done’ look. 

“Look, I’m not going to pester you to talk about what’s going on in your head.” Brett started. James expected more but there wasn’t even a single ‘you’ve been quiet’ or anything.

“Thanks.”

“Now, finish your fucking tea and go to sleep.” Brett used his mug to point down the hall towards James’s room.

“I’m good. I don’t think sleep and I are going to get along tonight.” James offered, it was only a small fraction of the problem and usually only happened when he was far away from the crew. A few days was fine but no contact for a week outside initial contact wasn’t apparently. 

“What, you want to braid each other’s hair and paint our toe nails?” Brett asked, the sarcasm in his voice on level with nearly every time he spoke. If it wasn’t for the amusement in his eyes James would believe he was actually irritated. 

“You don’t exactly have much, dude.” James replied. “But a few more stories wouldn’t hurt.”

Brett stood but didn’t go far. He leant down and kept his face close to James’s. When he looked up at him Brett placed a small kiss to his forehead. “I’ll make more tea than. And if you’re a good boy I’ll tell you about mine and Joel’s French heist.” 

“Fuck you!” James yelled out after him. All he got was a middle finger in return. 

~

He was startled awake. For a second he couldn’t move his body as sleep still had a hold of him. He slowly reached his hand over to the other side of the bed only to feel the cold pillow. He didn’t panic, Brett had always been a morning person and James usually caught him after his new home workout during their long week trapped in the house. Besides nothing happened last night and James wasn’t one to cling anyway.

He almost let himself drift back to sleep when his interruption showed back up, he didn’t realize what was about to happen until it did. There was a distant crash from the outside of the door and light footsteps, but they were nothing compared to the shock of his door being kicked open. It bounced off the wall, hard enough to almost crack the drywall behind it and close again. James jumped the noise knocking the sleep from his eyes. 

“Merry Christmas, you fucking bitch.” Aleks didn’t quite yell into the room but he did throw his lanky body onto the bed. He barely missed James as he bounced. He didn’t move away from his friend as they both relaxed into the bed. 

“It’s ten in the morning. How are you already drunk?” James asked his head snuggled back into his pillow, a deep sigh coming from the true annoyance he felt.

“Oh, please. I’m tipsy at most, asshole. Lindsey made some home made eggnog. It’s fucking great, man.” Aleks replied, his face slightly red as he stared at the roof. It stood out from the blue pillow case in a way that made James wished he had his phone in hand. He’d have to remember it for later.

“Why are you even here?” he asked instead, already missing his alone time away. 

“Fake AH crashed our down time. They fucking took the cops’ attention off of us with their own Christmas heist. We decided to have a family Christmas instead. Three days late but still, we even brought presents.” Aleks had that rare soft look on his face as he smiled over at James. It was still a recent thing to see him open with his emotions. Like being in control of his situation for once allowed him to do what he wanted without consequences or fear. It was more comforting than nice to see. James learned to ground himself in the present with it, one of the few changes that they needed.

He hummed and whipped the sleep crust from his eyes, purposely using his middle finger. Aleks just smiled at him. “How was the vacation?”

“Quiet.”

“I fucking doubt that.” Aleks snorted. His eyes scrunched up as he laughed at his own joke. 

“You planned this, didn’t you?” James asked as he stretched his body. Aleks snorted and James saw his face light up.

“Yeah, dawg, if you hadn’t of asked for the switch I would have come up with some excuse to switch Brett and Lindsey.” He explained, the amusement in his voice as he moved to sit back on his elbows. 

“I hate you, so much.” James reached over and kicked at him. Aleks continued to giggle and clutched onto the sheets as James attacked him. Eventually James managed to push him off the bed, yet he managed to take all of the blankets with him.

James let out a small screech as the comfort and warmth was taken from him. Aleks’s dumb head popped up from the side he landed on. 

“Oh, good. You’re wearing pants.”

He groaned and grabbed his pillow. He flung it at Aleks’s face. It his with a thump and he dramatically went with the movement. He landed hard on the floor, hitting his head on the wall as he did. 

“Hey! Stop fucking around.” Brett’s voice carried across the house. “Come decorate this stupid fucking tree.”

Aleks ran out of the room just as James threw another pillow at him. The last James saw of him was his middle finger as it rounded the corner. He slowly moved to follow Aleks, he groaned as the only available thing to throw on was a sweater that looked like it had cows fucking on it. They were probably supposed to be reindeer but the material made them look fat and round. 

The first thing he saw as he entered the living room was the dead and brown pine tree. It wasn’t that tall, barely taller than Lindsey as she tried to toss some garland onto it. Aleks had already gotten another cup of eggnog and sat on the couch.

“Oh, good, that fuck got you out of bed.” Brett asked. He was leaning against the corner between the kitchen and living room. Today his sweater was neon green with red plaid all over it, even the words were made of the ugly combination. 

“Is that a Fake Pine sweater?” James asked, barely restraining the giggle he had in his throat. Aleks and Lindsey didn’t.

“Yeah.” Brett shrugged, massive shoulders pulling at the seams slightly. “I hate it.”

“How did you do it?” James asked turning to the blondes, they were in the post laugh stuttery laugh stages. James scowled at them when they wouldn’t stop. 

“A magician never reveals her secrets.” Lindsey replied, she bowed low and a piece of her hair got caught by one of the branches.

“She’s also the one to stash all the cars before the fucking heist.” Aleks pipped in. Lindsey threw an ornament at him. They bickered but it was lost on James as he moved to the kitchen to grab his own glass of eggnog. 

“Sleep well?” Brett moved to stand behind him not quite touching him but close enough James could feel the heat from his chest. James thought about yelling at him and telling him to fuck off. Instead he smiled, a full mouth smile that everybody knew meant trouble. Brett scowled at him, eyebrows scrunched in confusion, and took a step back for his safety.

“Amazing. I think it was the tea. Really put me to sleep.” James said and drank from the cup he made. Brett opened his mouth to say something in return but was interrupted by the front door being thrown open. 

“Presents!” A voice called out and chatter filled the air as the living room.

“We’re right here, you bitch.” James yelled back at them as he stepped around Brett who just smirked down and followed him. “Stop fucking yelling.”

The side crew had filled the room, not everyone James hopped to see but he had no control over people he wasn’t in command of anymore. He still missed the flashes of tall teenager and brown hairs and short and long haired people. He forced it out of his mind as Aleks roughly grabbed a present from the hands of their new intern. 

James sat on the couch with Aleks, they each took their own corner and it wasn’t long before Brett worked his way onto the middle seat. James allowed himself to slowly relax next to him as everybody started to sing some butchered version of Holy Night and threw tinsel at each other.


End file.
